Yaṣradatas the Bitch God

 People who are familiar with the story of Faustus, know how awfully hard it is to resist temptation. When one’s desires are laid bare before you, given the veneer of goodness before your eyes, it can be hard not to eat out of a satanic hand. Now it is funny what vision occurred for me tonight, given my thoughts the evening before. I was mulling over the offerings of the Demon-God Yahweh. On the service he seemed to offer things I was desirous of. The love of the most beautiful women I can imagine, boundless knowledge and limitless power. I wondered, then, whether in my corrupted state I could resist his gifts, since I see that his gifts are not mere empty promises; he awards his chosen servants with such gifts as they desire, at least, on the surface. Perhaps, for me to sell myself to such a God he must present himself in a way familiar to me, to conceal his true divine nature. He would spin great poetry about the grace of his countenance and the magnificent of his whatever, and being in awe of the turn of the phrase so masterful as to not be of Mankind, I should accept him as my god on the spot.

However, what I found about myself is I am not so easily tempted, and unable to be deceived by any facade. There was this bitch-god you see, Yaṣradatas. (I’m not even certain if that’s the real name he gave me, that’s how I did not heed him.) He indeed, like a voice of a lord proclaimed his name before me, and recited panegyric lyric poetry praising himself. That should be the first clue of Yahweh’s hand in creating such a vision; only a shameless god would resort to praising himself. He then spoke of how he was mentioned in the bible, a monologue he shared with MOST HOLY BAAL. However, Baal spoke wistfully about his portrayal, and made a few jokes on the matter, while this Yaṣradatas claimed with great pride, quotations from the bible that simply do not exist. Now as I was dazed from entering the vision state, and always desirous to meet a friendly deity, to mark another deity I have read of as one I met in real life, and I had not properly heard his name (or it was obscured), not to mention the frequent solar imagery, I considered he may be the Akkadian sun-god Shamash. Anyone who has ever read the Epic of Gilgamesh would know that Shamash is a most benevolent and human-aiding god. He then spelled out his name for me, including the s with the dot under it that is used in latin alphabets to indicate the semitic letter Ṣade.

     This name was very familiar to me; it struck me as similar to the name of Yaṣdaṭa, the wily brother of Biridiya, king of Megiddo, mentioned in the El-Amarna Tablets. I did not recognize the name as being of any deity known from Canaan or elsewhere, but it should be said that there are countless gods that the ancients would have known and worshiped, of whom no literary or artistic reference had survived, either by obscurity or by simple chance. Realizing he may be such an unknown god, I did not write off what he would say, but I gave ear to it, attempting to memorize his little poem along with the beautiful possibly Hurrian or Semitic name.

And as such, he proceeded to avail me of his potential gifts, should I merely worship him and do his bidding. I saw a vision where I was a husband to two women, one my current and beloved wife, Fatima, the second my desired one, whose name I should remove for the sake of her privacy and security. Now the both of them were utterly devoted to me, lying on different levels of a bunk bed, with me free to pass freely between the two at will. And the second promise was made visible to me. To my second, newer wife I was the father of her daughter, beautiful, clever, and witty, taking the best traits of both her mother and perhaps of me, the father. It was something I have been desirous of for many years, to have my own worthy child. 

The second vision began, and I was in a room with my 4 grandparents. My grandmothers, Lorna and Sarah, and my late grandfathers, Richard and Morty. I admit I wept at the feet of my grandmother seeing my deceased grandfathers, especially since I was unable to be at Morty’s side at the end, as I was with my wife in Morocco. And the two grandfathers became one, and gave me a hug of such warmth it made me fill with joy. Filled with gratitude for the feeling, I asked Yaṣradatas to reveal his true face to me. And he showed me a vision that almost ruined the game for him. It was a vision full of cosmic nonsense and cheap editing tricks. And when it came time to settle on a face, he refused to show it clearly, refusing to show a human face, almost mocking my art by showing a clay face as if I was ever under the idolatrous assumption my figures were true gods. 

The final offering I was tempted by was the most alluring of all. I had thought a lot on previous nights on the greatest gift the gods can bestow on a man. It was a book, which I call The Encyclopedia of the History of All Time. It is a magical volume, which contains a detailed summary of the entire history of the universe, from the beginning with the big bang, to the end with the gradual heat death of the universe. This impossibly long and impossibly valuable book offers the gift of true prophecy, true knowledge about the most significant events of past, present and future. Understanding my hunger for knowledge, Yaṣradatas offered me a final gift; secret knowledge that would allow me to make important scientific discoveries.

After offering the final gift, he took me through a sanitary room, into a back door with a window looking into the room I just passed through. Inside there was a man and a woman, passionately making love, perhaps to inspire jealousy in me and wish them harm, for what he would now do. He began to fill the room I was watching with microwave radiation and high powered lasers, and I was made to watch how the hapless couple was suffering and convulsing. Their room, he said, was at 1000 degrees. I could feel the sweltering heat even through the insulated wall and window. He spoke with such pride at this, as to make it clear that I would suffer like them if I rejected him. But watching others suffer would not intimidate me. I don’t fear evil done to myself, but will stand with those who suffer evil against their adversaries, such is my hatred for such punishments. It became clear that his final mistake had steeled in my mind what I should have already known. This is no benevolent, eccentric and unknown deity. This is Yahweh himself. And as a devotee of MOST HOLY BAAL, I knew what evil this demon is capable of. Noticing I recognized him for who he really is, he challenged me to a game. He would himself, alongside his loyal angels, throw glass jars at me to deflect back at him. I found this game enjoyable, even though the god put me in a purposeful handicap; I was made far slower and weaker than I am in real life, like I was moving through viscous syrup. But he soon tired of me beating him, and he had his angelic servants break the jars, and send the jagged pieces flying at me at speeds it would be impossible in my current state to dodge. I took many sharp pieces of glass to the leg and shoulder, and I will confess the pain was real yet it did not deter me. I ripped a piece from my leg, and brandishing it like a sword I attacked the pathetic god who stood to my left, thinking I could do nothing to him. I actually exclaimed that he was a bitch, and before I dealt him a blow he released me from my vision. The coward could only offer lies and empty promises, and had no manly resolve like MOST HOLY BAAL.

And as awake as I always am after any vision, I resolved to record what occurred so I may keep it for posterity. 

Written 1:23 AM, 03/22/2021, Monday